September is almost over and I'm itching to enroll in a multi-session pottery course. Actually, what I've really been wanting is to get a pottery studio membership for a year. Hahaha. But I know I have to learn a lot first.
I've been looking through a couple of studios that offer them, and I finally found one that matches my schedule. It's a four-week session with unlimited studio use for a month, and at the end, they'll fire 15 pieces for you!
Hahaha. Obviously I wanted to book it immediately.
I was already imagining myself going to the studio after work, making little bowls and cups and whatever else I could make, probably making way too many things because I have unlimited studio use. 😂
But then I told myself I should enroll next year.
Honestly, I just want to make myself wait.
Because I've been thinking a lot lately about this weird relationship I have with time.
Part of me always feels like I have to do things now.
If I want something, why wait?
If I want to try a hobby, why not start now?
If there's something I want to buy, why not get it?
If there's somewhere I want to go, why not go?
I think a part of that comes from knowing very early that life really is short.
I lost my sister when she was only 23.
Twenty-three.
That still feels incredibly young to me.
And then I lost my dad at 60, which also feels way too young.
I think when you've experienced that kind of loss, there's always this little voice somewhere in your head reminding you that you don't actually know how much time you have.
So sometimes I think, Why am I waiting?
Why save the hobby for later? Why wait to travel? Why not buy the thing I want? Why not try everything I'm interested in?
There's a part of me that genuinely believes you should enjoy life while you can.
But I've also been trying to change the way I think about wanting things.
Because lately I've noticed how easy it is for me to turn a want into something that feels urgent.
A craving becomes I need this.
A new hobby becomes I should start this now.
Something catches my attention and suddenly I feel like I need to experience it immediately before I somehow miss my chance.
And I'm trying to teach myself that I don't.
I don't have to do everything now.
I don't have to buy everything now.
I don't have to start every hobby the moment I become interested in it.
I can want something and just... wait.
And that's actually what I'm trying to practice with pottery.
I don't think there's anything wrong with enrolling now. I can afford it, I have the time, and I genuinely want to do it.
But maybe I don't need to act on every want just because I have the ability to.
Maybe waiting a few months doesn't mean I'm missing out.
Maybe the pottery studio will still be there next year.
Maybe I'll still want to learn.
And if I don't, that's okay too.
I think I'm slowly learning that there are two different ideas that can exist at the same time:
Life is short.
And also:
There is no rush.
I can appreciate the time that I have without feeling like I need to squeeze every possible experience into it.
I can enjoy something now without needing to experience everything now.
I can save things for later.
I can let myself look forward to something.
And maybe that's a kind of joy too.
Knowing that there's something waiting for me next year.
So, pottery.
I'll see you in 2027. 😂